"The bassist for the band 'Beret!' ushered in the new year a la Francais with an especially gruesome beating of random, hapless Americans. While this is nothing new for the seasoned vet, things turned sour when Fausse-Couche attempted a very rare Savate technique to disembowel one American with his left foot and his leg became stuck among the thick intestines of the victim. He sustained a tear to critical tendons in his knee and underwent reluctant surgery at the hands of American medical 'professionals'. Due to the lengthy recovery period, Beret! has been forced to reschedule part of their upcoming tour. Currently, the dates are being rescheduled and Beret! will be back on the road as soon as Albert stops whining.

There has been speculation among certain groups that this is in fact a cleverly guised act of sabotage by the notorious militant patriots, L.O.G.G.G., or the Legion Of God Given Glory. This infamous underground group of crazed mongrels and Bush supporters has been behind such international scandals as Homeland Security and New Coke, and has long set their sites on destroying Beret! along with every other group they see as a threat to what they call 'a damn fine way of life for any red meat-eating American with a set of grapes.' It was said that possibly one of the doctors attending the wounded Fausse-Couche was in fact a L.O.G.G.G. spy there to corrupt the surgery and cause this extended convelescence.

Whatever the cause, Beret! has been temporarily delayed on their trek across the country, and just as the long awaited 'Fromage de la Rue' is being released late January. For more on this story and the continuing L.O.G.G.G. investigation, as well as the new tour dates, check back soon at, and for more on the upcoming album release, click right here!