DISAPPEARS FROM WARPED TOUR '04!!
Amidst rumors of deportation, murder,
and three-hour tours, AngryFrenchmen.com has the definitive story
behind Beret!'s untimely absence from this year's Warped Tour!!
Everything was French
hardcore as usual for Beret! as they embarked on the Warped Tour
for their third consecutive year. They were to play the Space
Station stage and murder no more than 3-4 pathetic Americans per
show, but beyond all that, they had a mission. This mission was
to patiently await the arrival of Good Charlotte on this year's
tour and retrieve the severed head of Benji before the last day
in Boston. But when you openly announce your top-secret plans
on stage everyday, word gets out, and before long, Beret!'s intentions
were common knowledge, even being mentioned in the August edition
of Blender Magazine. Naturally, when word got back to Good Charlotte
that their long time nemesis Beret! was out for blood, they got
scared. Real scared. So scared they decided to cancel their stint
on Warped Tour and spend the rest of their Summer searching for
their father. But the major labels had to protect their interest,
so they served up Beret! with a whopper of an ultimatum : Leave
the tour immediately or they will release the Beret! sex tapes
they have been holding over the bands head for all these years.
So obviously the choice was clear.
So Good Charlotte
was safe to rejoin the tour for now, but to show their detest,
Beret! has released a new shirt
portraying the final solution for pop-punk at the hands of French
superhumans!! Pick one up today and voice your hate with a French
Beret! is currently
channeling their anger into new music for their next album, so
check back for more info and MP3's as they come!!