Name: Pepe le Spew

Occupation: Token Turk

Place of Birth: ╩Istanbul, Turkiye -- The French District

Wine or Beer:╩Bordeaux (real Bordeaux, not that California shit)

Brand of Cigarettes: Gaulouis Blonde

Favorite Cheese: Camembert

Favorite French Film: Any film where Bridget Bardot gets naked

Favorite American Music: "Taps" - the song they play when an American soldier dies

Why the Franc is Better: My favorite whorehouse in Marseilles doesn't accept dollars. ╩Don't even get me started on the Euro

Least Favorite Thing About America: ╩Baseball hats and prude women

What Stripes Mean to You: They remind us that the world is black and white, that there only 2 kinds of people--the French and those who are looking to get their ass beat down by the French

If Your Moustache Was an Animal it Would be: A skunk--it's soft and it smells bad

The Moment you Turned French:╩ ╩I thankfully can't remember the time before I turned French. ╩It was a dark and unenlightened period of my life

What Makes Him French:╩Ask me that face to face and I'll make it very clear