Name: Albert Fausse-Couche

Occupation: Bass, Vocals

Place of Birth: Paris, TX

Wine or Beer: Flat beer tastes like wine

Brand of Cigarettes: T-Roys

Favorite Cheese: Gouda with lots of cheese sweat

Favorite French Film: Anything with Gerard Depardeau

Favorite American Music: Phobia

Why the Franc is Better: Ever since my French awakening, the idea of spelling the the American "k" sound with a "c" is intoxicating, so obviously.

Least Favorite Thing About America: Age of consent

What Stripes Mean to You: Longitude. I do not believe in "Lattiude"

If Your Moustache Was an Animal it Would be: A fox. A foxy fox. That eats Americans

The Moment you Turned French: I drank enough wine to actually put me in touch with God. And, boy, is he French.

What Makes Him French: All my power comes from the knowledge that one day I will frolic in the fields of Valhalla with my French comrades of decades past, and a bunch of dead vikings who are wondering where all these damn French people came from.