Everyday - in living, in speaking, in seeing, in eating, and in sleeping - we are so angry that the only choice we have is to become more and more French. Being French offers us an outlet for our anger. The process is natural; the angrier we are, the more French we become. And one can never be too French.

The members of BERET! are innumerable; we literally cover the globe. Although there is not a specified set of rules, a tradition of behavior, clothing, and diet have developed.

1.) We hate English, but in order to spread the word of BERET!, some of us do speak English. (With an accent - naturally!)

2.) We like punch things; we like to punch things that we do not like; if we do not like you, we will punch you (in the arm). Be careful Morrisey.

3.) We have moustaches. Our words of anger cling to the hairs of our moustaches like a bit of egg in the morning. Because we will never shave above our lips, we can always taste our hatred.

4.) We wear striped shirts. Like the French tradition of these shirts says, a striped shirt shows the world the difference between French people and non-French people. It is black and white.

5.) We eat cheese. This gives us energy for the battle.

6.) We drink wine. Being drunk helps us to invoke the spirit of French heroes who have died.

7.) We wear berets; simply, they are the incarnation of anger.

BERET! So angry, we're French.